obnoxious much -_-

i've got to go back to my university tomorrow..feeling melancholic..-_-
really wish tonight could be longer..it's the one and only time i wish time would stop and i could stay in this moment forever..well, forever might be pushing it a little..but it's just quite not possible right...i never say it's impossible because my mum always say that nothing is impossible in God's hand..

it's always like this when the time comes for me to go back to college, school...it's always been like this..
i would be sulking, looking all sad and my mum would be so careful as to cheer me up..i'd always feel bad for it, but i can't help myself either..i am sad,and yes, i am sulking (i know it's childish..but i wish to remain a child even if only at heart..i know i looked old enough to be called 'obasan'..lol)

a friend of mine said that i'm kind of an anti-social..it's really shocking to hear that from her because i've always thought that i'm sociable enough..yes, it's true that i don't really like to attend a gathering, not a small one, but more like big 'big' gathering, like 'family day'..i don't think we need a 'family day' to be a family..anti-social much??not really..i like socializing with people..well,at least that's what i think..big gathering 'sucks' because it sucks a lot of energy from me..smiling, talking, laughing, all those require me to think...thinking consumes a lot of energy...that's why whenever there's gathering, there would be food provided..to help us replenish our energy.. all those things about 'silaturrahim', of course i'm aware of them..in fact, i know how important it is to us humans..it's just how i wish 'bonding' with others could be a lot easier..

okay, back to what my friend was saying, she also happened to say that i tend to attract lots of people's interests..but i somehow failed to response to them..so in a simpler word, i tend to be a bit cold..maybe i didn't smile wide enough or my smile didn't quite reach them that made me look a lil' bit 'unfriendly'..it also could be due to the fact that i don't really meddle into people's affairs..i hardly ever ask people about their families or touch on personal things..i do what i do because i've always thought that it's kind of rude to ask people about their personal life..i don't mind people asking about mine but i prefer if they don't dig too deep..i won't talk if i'm not asked..but don't get me wrong..i love talking so much!!more than anyone could ever imagine..but with certain people..

i hardly feel out of place eventhough i'm with people that i'm not used to..i can mingle with them like they're my friends from since i was in diapers..superficial relationships huh..it's really unintentional..please do forgive me..:(

enough with my 'twisted' life..

i actually found the book which i treasured so much when i was a kid..i don't remember how did i get my hands on this book, but i remembered it really well that i loved this book so much..i was reading it from page to page for almost zillion times...the book's called "Friends are forever,featuring poems by Susan Polis Schutz and Donna Fargo"..well,there's lots more other poets featured in this book..

so i'll end my entry with this poem;

Some people will be your friend because of whom you know

Some people will  be your friend because of your position

Some people will be your friend because of the way you look

Some people will be your friend because of your possessions

But the only real friends are the people who will be your friends because they like you for how you are inside

Thank you for being one of the very few people in my life who is a real friend 

                                                                                                   -Susan Polis Schutz

that's all..hv a good day minna-san:)